Padua.Before BAPTISTA'S house.Enter BAPTISTA, GREMIO, TRANIO, KATHARINA, BIANCA, LUCENTIO, and others, attendants BAPTISTA [To TRANIO] Signior Lucentio, this is the 'pointed day.
That Katharina and Petruchio should be married, And yet we hear not of our son-in-law.
What will be said? what mockery will it be, To want the bridegroom when the priest attends To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage!
What says Lucentio to this shame of ours? KATHARINA No shame but mine: I must, forsooth, be forced To give my hand opposed against my heart Unto a mad-brain rudesby full of spleen;Who woo'd in haste and means to wed at leisure.
I told you, I, he was a frantic fool, Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behavior:
And, to be noted for a merry man, He'll woo a thousand, 'point the day of marriage, Make feasts, invite friends, and proclaim the banns;Yet never means to wed where he hath woo'd.
Now must the world point at poor Katharina, And say, 'Lo, there is mad Petruchio's wife, If it would please him come and marry her!' TRANIO Patience, good Katharina, and Baptista too.
Upon my life, Petruchio means but well, Whatever fortune stays him from his word:
Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise;Though he be merry, yet withal he's honest.KATHARINA Would Katharina had never seen him though!
Exit weeping, followed by BIANCA and others BAPTISTA Go, girl; I cannot blame thee now to weep;For such an injury would vex a very saint, Much more a shrew of thy impatient humour.
Enter BIONDELLO BIONDELLO Master, master! news, old news, and such news as you never heard of! BAPTISTA Is it new and old too? how may that be? BIONDELLO Why, is it not news, to hear of Petruchio's coming? BAPTISTA Is he come? BIONDELLO Why, no, sir.BAPTISTA What then? BIONDELLO He is coming.BAPTISTA When will he be here? BIONDELLO When he stands where I am and sees you there.TRANIO But say, what to thine old news? BIONDELLO Why, Petruchio is coming in a new hat and an old jerkin, a pair of old breeches thrice turned, a pair of boots that have been candle-cases, one buckled, another laced, an old rusty sword ta'en out of the town-armory, with a broken hilt, and chapeless;with two broken points: his horse hipped with an old mothy saddle and stirrups of no kindred;besides, possessed with the glanders and like to mose in the chine; troubled with the lampass, infected with the fashions, full of wingdalls, sped with spavins, rayed with yellows, past cure of the fives, stark spoiled with the staggers, begnawn with the bots, swayed in the back and shoulder-shotten;near-legged before and with, a half-chequed bit and a head-stall of sheeps leather which, being restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath been often burst and now repaired with knots; one girth six time pieced and a woman's crupper of velure, which hath two letters for her name fairly set down in studs, and here and there pieced with packthread.BAPTISTA Who comes with him? BIONDELLO O, sir, his lackey, for all the world caparisoned like the horse; with a linen stock on one leg and a kersey boot-hose on the other, gartered with a red and blue list; an old hat and 'the humour of forty fancies' pricked in't for a feather: a monster, a very monster in apparel, and not like a Christian footboy or a gentleman's lackey.TRANIO 'Tis some odd humour pricks him to this fashion;Yet oftentimes he goes but mean-apparell'd.BAPTISTA I am glad he's come, howsoe'er he comes.BIONDELLO Why, sir, he comes not.BAPTISTA Didst thou not say he comes? BIONDELLO Who? that Petruchio came? BAPTISTA Ay, that Petruchio came.BIONDELLO No, sir, I say his horse comes, with him on his back.BAPTISTA Why, that's all one.BIONDELLO Nay, by Saint Jamy, I hold you a penny, A horse and a man Is more than one, And yet not many.
Enter PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO PETRUCHIO Come, where be these gallants? who's at home? BAPTISTA You are welcome, sir.PETRUCHIO And yet I come not well.BAPTISTA And yet you halt not.TRANIO Not so well apparell'd As I wish you were.PETRUCHIO Were it better, I should rush in thus.
But where is Kate? where is my lovely bride?
How does my father? Gentles, methinks you frown:
And wherefore gaze this goodly company, As if they saw some wondrous monument, Some comet or unusual prodigy? BAPTISTA Why, sir, you know this is your wedding-day:
First were we sad, fearing you would not come;Now sadder, that you come so unprovided.
Fie, doff this habit, shame to your estate, An eye-sore to our solemn festival! TRANIO And tells us, what occasion of import Hath all so long detain'd you from your wife, And sent you hither so unlike yourself? PETRUCHIO Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear:
Sufficeth I am come to keep my word, Though in some part enforced to digress;Which, at more leisure, I will so excuse As you shall well be satisfied withal.
But where is Kate? I stay too long from her:
The morning wears, 'tis time we were at church.TRANIO See not your bride in these unreverent robes:
Go to my chamber; Put on clothes of mine.PETRUCHIO Not I, believe me: thus I'll visit her.BAPTISTA But thus, I trust, you will not marry her.PETRUCHIO Good sooth, even thus; therefore ha'
done with words:
To me she's married, not unto my clothes:
Could I repair what she will wear in me, As I can change these poor accoutrements, 'Twere well for Kate and better for myself.
But what a fool am I to chat with you, When I should bid good morrow to my bride, And seal the title with a lovely kiss!
Exeunt PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO TRANIO He hath some meaning in his mad attire:
We will persuade him, be it possible, To put on better ere he go to church.BAPTISTA I'll after him, and see the event of this.
