佚名/Anonymous
为什么那么多人害怕失败呢很简单，因为没有人告诉我们怎样去失败，所以失败成了引导我们成长的经历。我们忘记了失败是人类社会的一部分，每个人都有战胜失败的斗志。
很多家长在努力避免失败的同时，也在避免让孩子知道他们失败了。达到此目的的一种方式是降低标准，孩子草草制作的桌子被母亲称为“完美”。要知道，桌子还放不平稳呢！另一种就是把责任推给别人。约翰自然考试不及格，他的父母就把责任归于老师不公平或愚蠢。
这些避免失败的措施，会让孩子在真正面对现实生活时，不知所措。年轻人需要懂得，没有人能事事都做到最好，没有人常胜不败——比赛即使输了，还是可以享受过程。孩子没有被邀请参加生日聚会，不在优等生之列，或没被选入棒球队，会感觉很糟糕，那是当然的。家长不应很快给予精神鼓励，或说“不要紧”，因为这确实很要紧。应该让年轻人去经历失望，并帮助他们走出失望的阴霾。
失败从来不会令人高兴，它伤害了大人，同样也伤害着孩子。一旦你学会如何去利用失败，它就会对你的生活起到积极作用。第一步就要问“为什么我会失败”，要消除潜意识里把责任推给别人的想法，问问自己做错了什么，怎样加以改进。如果有人能帮助你，就去向他求助，不要不好意思。失败是一位好老师，而成功并不这样，它只会使人们重复过去的做法。一场糟糕的聚会，可以让你学会怎样去组织一场成功的聚会；一次失败的买房经历，可以让你学到怎样去选择一所好房子。就算是彻底的失败也能激发创新的思维，让自己重新选择方向。我的一位朋友学了12年芭蕾，她去一家专业培养演员的公司试镜，被淘汰了。她问：“专业的训练会有效果吗”芭蕾老师摇了摇头，说：“你永远成不了舞蹈演员，你没有那种身材。”
这种情况下，就要利用失败正确地估量自己，勇敢地问自己：“我还有哪些潜力我还能做些什么”于是，我的朋友扔掉芭蕾舞鞋，转而从事舞蹈疗法——一个她能胜任并能发挥潜能的领域。既然已经没有什么可以失去，何不放手一搏失败反而经常令人神采奕奕——使人看到希望。
Why are so many people so afraid of failure？Quite simply be cause no one tells us how to fail so that failure becomes an experience that will lead to growth.We forget that failure is part of the human condition and that every person has the fight to fail.
Most parents work hard at either preventing failure or protecting their children from the knowledge that they have failed.One way is to lower standards.A mother describes her child’s hastily made table as“Perfect”！Even though it wobbles on uneven legs.Another way is to shift blame，If John fails science，his teacher is unfair or stupid.
The trouble with failure-prevention devices that they leave a child unequipped for life in the real world.The young need to learn that no one can be best at everything，no one can win all the time—and that it’s possible to enjoy a game even when you don’t win.A child who’s not invited to a birthday party，who doesn’t make the honor roll or the baseball team，feels terrible，of course.But parents should not offer a quick consolation prize or say，“It doesn’t matter”because it does.The young should be allowed to experience disappointment—and be helped to master it.Failure is never pleasurable.It hurts adults and children alike.But it can make a positive contribution to your life once you learn to use it.Step one is to ask“Why did I fail？”Resist the natural impulse to blame someone else.Ask yourself what you did wrong，how you can improve.If someone else can help，don’t be shy about inquiring.Success，which encourages repetition of old behavior，is notnearly as good a teacher as failure.You can learn from a disastrous party how to give a good one，from an ill-chosen first house what to look for in a second.Even a failure that seems definitive can prompt fresh thinking，a change of direction.After 12 years of studying ballet a friend of mine auditioned for a professional company.She was turned down.“Would further training help？”she asked.The ballet master shook his head.“You will never be a dancer，”he said，“You haven’t the body for it.”
In such cases，the way to use failure is to take stock courageously，asking“What have I left？What else can I do？”My friend put away her toe shoes and moved into dance therapy，a field where she’s both competent and useful.Failure frees one to take risks because there’s less to lose.Often there’s a resurgence of energy—an awareness of new possibilities.
