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第31章 温暖成长的旅途 (5)

Teaching communication means getting people to tell their stories, but Ray could tell you how much he missed playing his guitar without speaking. Sometimes he moved his hands across the air as if he were playing his favorite blues scale. He always gave me a slight nod when he saw me come into the chapel for the meeting. He loved sharing his guitar stories. Although he had been an inmate at Gander Hill for over a decade, he always had a song in his head, in particular one that he said he had been writing in his mind since his arrival. He looked forward to playing again the way a child counts the days until summer vacation.

When my group formally established itself at Gander Hill, the men were allowed a night of celebration to which they could invite one or two family members. The night of the celebration was just like Christmas for them. They huddled with their loved ones, whom they had not seen or touched in several months or longer. Since his family lived in Texas, no one came to the celebration as Ray' s guest, but he waited patiently for me to arrive. As he rehearsed his song in his head, I walked into the prison with a guitar.

Ray tuned that guitar as if he were putting his life back into harmony. I have never heard a guitar tuned like that before or since. He looked at me over his shoulder and nodded a thank-you before bringing his song to life on the guitar. I watched Ray' s fingers dance across the strings as if they were himself, running free. And for those few moments, he was.

到1993年春天,我已骗去过甘达尔山监狱好几次了。这个时候,我见到了雷。父亲带领一个小组在那里教授犯人们学习交流和说话的技巧。我是一名大四的学生,言语交际是我的主修课。后来,我在甘达尔山组织了自己的学生志愿小组。

教授怎样交际就得让他们讲述自己的故事,然而雷不用任何言语就能告诉你,他是多么想弹吉他。有时候,他的双手在空中飞舞着,就好像他在弹奏着他最钟爱的布鲁斯曲调。每次他看到我走进小礼拜堂组织集会的时候,都会冲着我轻轻地点点头。他很高兴能够有人分享他的吉他故事,尽管在甘达尔山监狱已骗住了十几年,可是他的头脑中骗常回荡着乐曲,尤其是那首他说刚进来时就在他头脑中写好的歌。他盼望着能够再次弹奏吉他,仿佛孩子在一天天地数着,巴望着暑假快快到来一样。

当我的小组在甘达尔山正式建立时,这些犯人得到准许可以请一两个家人,和他们一起参加庆祝晚会。对他们而言,庆祝晚会仿佛就是圣诞节。他们和亲人们团聚在一起,他们有几个月,甚至更长的时间没有见面了。雷的家人住在得克萨斯州,他们没能来参加庆祝晚会,然而他耐心地等待我的到来。当他在脑海里排练着这首歌的时候,我走进了监狱,手里拿着一把吉他。

雷给吉他调准音,仿佛在把自己的生活调回到和谐有序的时刻。在此之前以及之后,我都未曾听到那样的调音。他回过身来看着我,点点头向我致谢,接着用吉他弹唱起他的歌。我看着雷的手指在琴弦上舞动,就像雷自己在自由奔跑。这一刻,雷完全是自由的。

友情无价

Friends Forever

佚名 / Anonymous

Losing someone who cannot be replaced by anyone else is harder than losing millions of dollars. I have been deep affected by my experiences learning to overcome all of the emotional disturbances, finding that there are things that cannot be forgotten, and gaining knowledge about the uniqueness of the friendship. When my best friend told me that he had lung cancer, my life changed completely. I knew I was going to lose him, but I didn' t know it would be so hard to overcome the feelings that he left me with.

We were friends, not just regular friends, but we were best friends, which explains everything. We would do everything together, such as play soccer, play piano and guitar, walk on the street and act crazy, run away from home and hide somewhere, ditch school and throw a party on Monday.

We had the best time together, but unfortunately life took all that from me. Sometimes I ask myself why it had to be him, my best friend, a person who trusted with everything, a person who knew what to do to make me happy, a person who was the best part of my life. He would give everything in order to strengthen our friendship. He was a friend who will always be in my heart.

It was the night of April 14, 1999. I will never forget that day. He came to me showered in tears. He looked very sad. "What' s going on, why are you so depressed?" I asked.

"I' m, I' m going, and I' m going to..." he said slowly.

He stopped talking, I didn' t know what was going on in reality, but he knew it, because within the last couple of months he was having trouble breathing. That didn' t bother him much until that moment when he visited a doctor. I looked at his eyes, and I saw his blue colored eyes blurring into shadows of a dream. I understood what was going on, but I didn' t cry, because I knew if did, that would really hurt his feelings. I looked at him again and said, "Everything will be just fine; you just have to take proper care of yourself." Inside of me, the flame of sadness kept burning and I was barely keeping my tears from falling, but I knew I was strong enough to handle myself.

That moment was followed by a joke, which I don' t really remember. In order to make him laugh and make his emotions go away, I began telling some really good jokes. He started to laugh very hard, but he coughed too. That was the last time I saw him laughing that hard,that happy, that sad at the same time.

On the same night I got a call from him, asking me to go and see him,because he wasn' t feeling very well. We were always there for one another, so I went there. He looked all white, and his blue eyes didn' t seem to be very happy. I was trying to fool myself, and kept repeating in my mind that everything was going to be all right. I couldn' t make myself to believe that it was really going to happen.

It was 2: 30 am when he finally told everyone to go and leave the two of us alone. He started talking. "I know what' s going to happen next, but you don' t worry... I' ll be all right, because God is going to take care of me. And don' t be sad. It' s not like we' re not going to see each other again?"

He asked me to hold his hand hard, and he also told me that our friendship will last forever no matter what happens. He gave me a letter and said,"Whenever you feel it' s time to read this, just open it." I closed my eyes, and within seconds I felt his pulse stop pumping, and a dark cold ran inside of my hands. He just left everything. His blue eyes were already close, and I couldn' t do anything else to make them look back at me.

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